How can we create healthy relationships using biblical principles?
"God has graciously revealed the attributes of maintaining a healthy relationship with Him and if those attributes are duplicated in our interpersonal relationships, those relationships will be strong."
I graduated from the seminary in 1974 and since then have witnessed thousands of relationships between people and their God, as well as their interpersonal relationships. The bottom line, it seems, is this: God has graciously revealed the attributes of maintaining a healthy relationship with Him and if those attributes are duplicated in our interpersonal relationships, those relationships will be strong. This study focuses on implementing those attributes in the latter.
INTIMACY
“We love because He first loved us.” I John 4:19
“By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:35
Intimacy (agape love) is essential to our relationship with God and with others. Furthermore, no relationship will succeed that does not have at its foundation agape love, whether it be with God or other people.
Evaluation:
Love, in the Biblical sense, is not just emotions, but a love that is sacrificial (agape = Greek word for the highest form of love in the Bible). Agape love includes emotion, but emotional love all by itself is self-serving. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, selfishness/self-centeredness is the main reason most relationships fail. Two people striving to meet the needs of the other is superior to two people thinking of themselves. How about your relationships? Is agape love an attribute of all of them?
LIKE-MINDEDNESS
“How can two walk together unless they are agreed?” Amos 3:3
“Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 2:5
The more we think like Christ, the more intimate we will be with God. The more we are like-minded in our relationships with others, the stronger they will be. Arguments are the fruit of thinking differences.
Evaluation:
Are you like-minded with those people closest to you? When was the last time you had an argument with someone and won? Conflict begins with “different thinking” and only ends with like-mindedness or a compromise to be like-minded. The shortest path to like-mindedness is to use God’s Word as thinking’s absolutes.
COMMUNICATION
“My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.” John 10:27
“Pray without ceasing.” I Thessalonians 5:17
God communicates with us through His Word. We communicate with God through prayer. Just as communication is essential to our relationship with God, communication is essential to any human relationship.
Evaluation:
How good are you at communicating with those closest to you? Are you a good listener? Do you interrupt people when they are talking? Do you find it easy to talk to others?
PRESENCE
“I will walk among you and be your God, and you shall be My people.” Leviticus 26:12
“And behold, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:20b
God’s presence in our lives and our consciously living out our lives in His presence is essential to our relationship with God. Interaction between you and the people with whom you are in relationship is also essential if the relationships are to be strong.
Evaluation:
How strong are your relationships with the people you haven’t seen in years? (Unless there is contact, relationships lose their influence.) Are you too busy to spend a necessary amount of time growing and maintaining your closest relationships?
Conclusion
One could probably list fifty attributes that are helpful in relationships, but again, these four seem primary.
If there is no intimacy, there will be no desire to share like-mindedness, no desire to communicate, and no desire to be with a person.
If there is no like-mindedness, intimacy is hindered by the differences, communication will be contentious, and there will be little desire to be present with the person.
If there is no communication, love will not be expressed, like-mindedness goes untouched, and presence is neglected.
If there is no presence, love cannot be experienced, like-mindedness cannot be shared, and communication cannot happen.
God bless you with healthy relationships!
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